Tuesday, February 5, 2013

gloomy 2013

Salam..the clock showed 12.00 midnite...so stressed out or perhaps i stress myself out..

I am at my lowest peak right now..i hurt him...tears~
Ya Allah...apa ku dah buat ni..i am at dead end..i wish i can turn back time and slap the selfish me and ungrateful person..
ooo dear..finally it happen..this is the first time in 5 years relationship when u know someone really angry..
it is sad..tears drop~
when u can feel there's no more love in his voice, only angry and frustration..Ya Tuhan apa aku nak buat to make things back to normal..he asked me not to think about it but how can i do that, when i can feel there's no love or tender from u anymore..

i deserve this..how can i talk to someone which don't have the same passion as before..how hurtful..tears..
i miss him..but he's too far..his heart is farther to reach..i will lost him? tears...
it's my fault..i hurt him and hurt myself back..is this what i want? tears..
how i have changed a lot this 5 years to be someone so ungrateful, selfish, disrespectful for other..taking for granted what i have..

sebelum ni kalau ada masalah i always talk to him..a place to look after, a piece of mind which he'll give guided me..but now, i am ruin it..i have nobody to talk to..how can i ask him for advice if he don't want to listen with his heart content..how can i...

i always think about myself, how pity i am and the most unluckiest in the world..and because of that i forget others, the people around me, who love me unconditionally.. :(

Sayang...i am sorry

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