Sunday, October 9, 2011

2011...

this will be my truly 'first' post for 2011...

i am sad n angry to myself..a lot of things happened this year, i'm not sure how i've gone through..tears,pain..so many broken hearts..

i hurt him a lots n i hurt myself a lots too..u see, ppl said how much did u love someone is the same price when u're getting the hurt n pains, well it's true..both of us really feel the pains now...

i become angrier than before, disgust, hateful n annoying...even i can't stand myself, i wonder how he still stand by me...i just couldn't control my emotion, feeling..i'm angry to myself, him the family..everybody...i just hate this place right, i just want to go away, left it behind n run to a place where i'm being love n wanted...

it's just too painful, i wonder if i can stand another year for it, i just don't know n i'm not sure...i become more tired and tired since the last 6 months, i just don't when my heart couldn't bear n stop..

he just continue to work work n work...someday he will not even realize that my love remain a few pieces left n then...puffff it's gone..i'm tired Ya Tuhan...i don't know what i'm waiting for, my life's too perfect that make everything look so boring n empty....

Ya Allah, lately i just can't control my angry, emotion, maknanya makin kurang ibadat ku pada mu...spiritual, kerohanian, keimanan makin lemah..i need ur guidance Tuhanku..kuatkanlah semangatku...jadikan aku setabah dulu,sentiasa gembira, tahan dan sabar segala ranjau yg dilalui...

hidupku baru bermula, Ya Allah..jauh lagi perjalananku..mudahkanlah jalanku, aku sentiasa mohon petujukmu, keampunanmu, keredhaanmu Ya Allah, Ya Rabbulalamin...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

2011..year of planning and initiating

well...test2...haha, dah lama xpost dol...